ImPRESS press on manicure

The promotional image for the nails.  They're nowhere near that dark.

One of the items I received as a freebie to try and review from Influenster in their MomVox was the Impress Press-On Manicure.

The advertisements promise:
  • NO DRY TIME!  (It's an adhesive backed plastic fingernail, so why is this an issue?)
  • SUPERIOR LASTING SHINE (They are quite glossy and pretty)
  • EASY REMOVAL (As long as you're done wearing them. I couldn't get them off without messing up the nail to reposition them)
  • LASTS UP TO A WEEK (I've never had press on nails last more than a day - after an hour, the first one fell off.)
The EASY REMOVAL and the LASTS UP TO A WEEK both have caveats, of course.  Easy removal:  Remove in seconds: Gently peel off from sides or apply polish remover around edges, wait 1 minute, peel off.  They remove in seconds, but you have to let them soak for a minute?  That's like when someone tells you they'll be with you in a few minutes, but then you sit there for an hour.  I really think they need to reword that statement.  The LASTS UP TO A WEEK is naturally:  if applied properly.
The nails come in a cute little plastic polish-shaped bottle.  Like real polish, you have to unscrew the top to pull it off.  Unfortunately, mine was messed up and I had a devil of a time getting it off.  Once the top is off, you squeeze the sides and pry the front of the case off.  Naturally, fake nails went flying everywhere.  If a mess can be made, I will manage to make it.

Before calamity struck.

My next step was the select the right nails for my fingers.  Well, I say fingers, but I now believe I have stubby little sausages with claws.  I'm not sure if this is a step up or a step down from the "monkey-man hands" I normally believe myself to have.  Another thing I'm not sure of is the market Broadway is aiming for.  The package contained 24 nails, and I have a devil of a time finding ones that fit.  There were three sets that were too big, five sets that half-way fit, and four sets that were super-tiny.  I suspect that a lucky mom would be able to squeeze a Mommy-and-Me manicure out of one set, which is really nice.  I also thought they were kinda short, as they weren't much longer than my natural nails.  I don't consider my fingernails to be long, so this surprised me.  However, these are a really good length, and you're not using the awkward hand motions of someone not used to their nail length.

I normally don't think that I have long fingernails, or fat ones.
The nails were really uneven, with major flash (those little plastic bits that connected them to the mold) on almost all of them.  Some of them also have noticeably wavy tops.  This isn't anything that couldn't be fixed with some determined filing, but they're advertised as instantly salon perfect.  I don't expect perfection from fake nails, but I also don't expect to spend twenty minutes attempting to file the s curves out of them, either.

I was pleasantly surprised at the strength of the adhesive (or at least at first).  When these puppies first go on, they're on.  I was unable to reposition them once they were down.  After an hour, my left pointer finger came partially off, and my left ring finger came completely off in two.  They withstood the rigors of my day job decently, and I do a LOT of typing.   They also mostly survived a small bit of gardening.  If I was going to wear them again, I'd definitely get some nail glue.

The color that I received was a cinnamon color, with the fanciful name of Stiletto.  It's quite pretty, and good for a vixenish evening out.  Or my normal every day wear, which is more accurate.  They're really glossy, and I really like that they're square, but neither extremely so or some monstrous squoval. Yes, I hate shaping nails with a file.  Does it show?

Do these nails make me look fat?
Would I go out of my way to buy these again?  No, probably not.  If I was wandering through a store, and saw them on sale, would I buy them?  Most likely.  There's nothing revolutionary about the nails, and I'm not thrilled with the sizes, but the line has some amazing colors and patterns.  At their price point, they're perfect for when you don't want to go to a salon (I hate artificial nails with a passion), you want something fancy, but you're too lazy to go through the taping.  I absolutely adore some of their prints, and they have some amazing metallic shades.


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